Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
