Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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