I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
