after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Randomize
