Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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