I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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