you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
