Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Come see our sink grown plant.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
