Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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