I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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