NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
this will be a night to untag.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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