Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
