Having a random hookup so left but love u
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
