So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize