It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
