There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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