508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize