K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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