Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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