Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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