After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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