I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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