He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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