I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
