my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
birth control should be required to get into college
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
