super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
