Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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