White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
