Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
