i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
