First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
