i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
