But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
