garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
