Just fell off a train. Bad.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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