I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
