sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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