Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
