Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
