Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
