kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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