No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
