To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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