smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
i think my cat just said my name.
I have fence marks all over my body
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
