Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize