I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
