We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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