So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All the doctor said was why
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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