were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this boner is exhausting
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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