Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
