She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize