i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I sprained my soul last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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