how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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