using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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