Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
