when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
