So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
