My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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